Breaking Bad series finale review

Breaking Bad has ended and King Walter White is dead. Long Live King Walter White! Breaking Bad’s series finale was an hour-plus of television that settled all accounts in true Godfather fashion. I’m not going to delve too far into plot specifics, since I already thoroughly recapped “Felina” yesterday. Instead, I’m going to do a standard evaluation of “Felina” as an episode and a series finale to a wonderful television series.

Breaking Bad episodes usually promise audiences escalating stakes, high tension and of course, an emotional sucker-punch. If that’s a check list of how to make a successful episode, then “Felina” certainly succeeds.

Set in the deserts of New Mexico, Breaking Bad has always been a modern Western. We are reminded of this once more as Walt heads back to Albuquerque listening to El Paso, Marty Robbins’ song about a fugitive returning to the town he fled, and his lady love Felina. The Walter White in “Felina” is the cowboy who has to stop running and finally face his past and account for his actions.

“Felina” is peppered with a lot of great moments, but none is more essential to the Breaking Bad saga than Walt’s conversation with Skyler in her kitchen. This was a perfect exchange for both characters, an argument where both stood their ground in an argument and neither of them lost. Skyler basically tells Walt to take all of his “I did it for the family” crap and shove it; as she should. Then Walt strips away his false faces of Heisenberg, drug kingpin and Walter White, family man to reveal his true face: Walter White, flawed human being. “I did it for me. I liked it, I was good at it. And I was really…I was alive.” This takes us back to the beginning of the series to a Walter White we could relate to: an undervalued man who has been dealt a bad hand and so desperately wants to change his cards.

You can see the joy that Walt takes in what he does throughout this episode. There’s a kind of smugness to him when he casually invades the Schwartz home and threatens his former associates; he knows what he wants and he knows he’s going to get it. The same thing goes for when he’s humming El Paso in the desert as he constructs his assault rifle turret of doom. Walt knows how this is all going to end, and he’s completely at peace with that fact.

Cowboy Walt rescues Jesse from the clutches of villainy and saves the day yet again. One complaint I might have with this episode would be the lack of screen time dedicated to Jesse. Then again Jesse has always been the humanity of the show; maybe it makes more sense that at the end of this soul-sucking journey, Jesse (the heart) is less present. Jesse isn’t without share of sins however; he murders Todd, justifiable as it was. But the choice to stop doing Walt’s dirty work and refusing to kill him was an extremely important one for Jesse. He was free of his shackles and free of Walter White.

Breaking Bad episodes almost always end on a cliffhanger, either with immediate conflicts that have to be resolved in the next episode, or with dangerous implications that loom over the horizon. Maybe the one thing that was so very un-Breaking Bad about the finale was the finality of it. With a show that has reached all across the board in terms of its audience though, the pressure to satisfy was certainly a factor in crafting this finale. By and large there were no lingering plot threads. The cowboy Walter White meets justice but also serves his own vengeance; he settles his scores and escapes punishment through death. He gets his cake and eats it too.

It’s a fine end, don’t get me wrong. But part of me would’ve been ok with the series ending with Walt stuck in his New Hampshire cabin prison. Then again I could probably watch a whole season of Breaking Bad that was just Walt stuck in his New Hampshire cabin prison watching BOTH copies of Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium on loop.

 

Breaking Bad Series Finale Grade: ★★★★½ 4.5/5

Seriously. A WHOLE SEASON.

Breaking Bad: Felina recap

Unless you were really excited for the completely unwelcome return of Eastbound & Down, you were probably watching the series finale of Breaking Bad. This last episode was the kind of finale that tied up loose ends and came to satisfying character conclusions that most audiences would appreciate.

Breaking Bad’s final hour (plus 15 minutes) began with Walter White wiping the snow off of his stolen car, dusting off the old life that he was preparing to return to. He utters the phrase “Just get me home…just get me home and I’ll do the rest.” This is a man who knows he’s at the end of his road; and he’s ready to atone for what he has done. Walt finds a Marty Robbins cassette in the glove box and plays the song El Paso; a song which itself is about a fugitive returning to the town that he escaped from. (*Editor’s note*: “Felina” is the name of the woman referenced in the song.)

The first order of (empire) business for Walt is to track down Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz; a feat that he accomplishes quite simply. Walt lies in wait outside their ritzy yuppie villa; he strolls around their home like a phantom, unconcerned with hiding. It’s staged like the moments before the killer strikes in a horror film, but we soon discover that Heisenberg has something else in mind for his former associates. Walt presents them with the task of giving his hard-earned money to Walt Jr., in an attempt to ward off any federal suspicion of where it came from. (Possible Breaking Bad spin-off idea -Gretchen and Elliot: Money Mules!) Just when it looks like Walt trusts the Schwartzs on handshake alone, he gives the signal and lasers zero in on the two money mules. Walt insures their money donation with a threat on their lives. Of course we later find out that this threat is completely empty; no hit men, just Badger and Skinny Pete with laser pointers! Dumb and dumber then inform Walt that blue meth is indeed still on the streets, leading Walt to realize that Jesse is alive and kicking/cooking.

Breaking Bad then gives us a nice little fake-out in the form of the Jesse seemingly realizing his one-time dream of carpentry. NOPE! He was just day-dreaming while he was (literally) slaving away in the Nazi’s meth lab. Cut to our previously seen “flash-forwards” or Walt receiving his assault rifle and recovering the ricin. Thus begins phase 2 of Walter White’s final master plan.

Walt tracks down Lydia and resident sociopath Todd to the spot where he had once met Lydia on a regular basis. Making claims of a “new formula,” Walt tries to get his way into the Nazi’s compound. After Walt calls Lydia a “creature of habit,” she later dismisses Heisenberg and goes about pouring her stevia into her tea. I wonder what could be in there…

Out in the desert land, Walt is a-humming his new favorite Marty Robbins song El Paso as he creates a DIY rotating turret for his recently-purchased assault rifle. Our meth-dealing cowboy has no cadre of his own, so he has to make one instead, activated by his car keys.

Next we see some very shoddy White family portraits in Skyler’s new apartment. The White matriarch is smoking a cigarette (indicating that she’s stressed-out Skyler!) and lets Marie’s phone call go to the answering machine (per usual) before picking up. Marie recaps her sister on what Walt has been up to. On top of that is a very interesting bit of information that we can’t be certain is true or not. Multiple “Heisenbergs” have been calling in from across town: threatening City Hall, announcing his “manifesto” and demanding to be on the six o’clock news. It’s a curious series of Joker-style misinformation that even Marie comments on possibly being an attempt to confuse. After Skyler ends the call, the camera zooms in and we see that Walt was there all along – it would seem that he’s skinny enough to hide behind a banister at the right angle.

Walt gives Skylar the GPS coordinates of the one-time burial site of his money, and the current location of Hank and Gomez’s bodies. He convinces Skylar to use this as a bargaining chip with the feds to get a better deal. Then it happens. This is the scene. This is the scene that brings out all of the honesty that Walter White has been concealing since he started his descent all those years ago. Walt starts to explain himself and in a perfect moment of character strength, Skyler cuts him off, tired of hearing his BS about “doing it for his family.” But Walt stops her and says “I did it for me.” He finally comes clean that he did all of this not for money, not for his family, but because it felt good. “I was alive.” After Walt gets the chance to see his now toddler daughter Holly, Flynn comes home from school and Walt watches from a nearby window. He walks into the distance, fading to (Walter) White. It’s the kind of visual that Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan loves.

With only 20 minutes of Breaking Bad remaining, it’s time to enact the final phase of Heisenberg’s piece de resistance. He arrives at the Nazi compound and defies the parking parameters of Nazi Jack’s mustachioed sidekick. Walt gets padded down and his turret keys get lifted. Nazi Jack calls Walt on his “new formula” BS; both men are here for one reason: to kill the other guy. Before mustachioed sidekick takes Walt out to pasture however, Walt accuses Nazi Jack of being a liar and partnering up with Jesse to cook the blue meth. Apparently the honor of a white power neo-Nazi is not to be tested. Todd brings slave Jesse into the room as Walt makes a dangerous move for his confiscated keys – and he gets them! YAY!

You know you were thinking of it.

Nazi Jack wants Walt to know that Jesse is no partner of his, just a servant. Walt tackles Jesse to get him out of the line of fire and activates his trunk turret. (Meanwhile, one of the Nazis makes a gay joke about Todd, Walt and Jesse that you probably missed.) It’s a Godfather finale bloodbath at the Nazi home, hitting mostly everyone except for Todd. (Even Walt got hit!) And then, in a righteous moment of slave Leia vs. Jabba the Hutt, Jesse uses his own shackles to strangle Todd to death.

Nazi Jack coughs up blood and makes a final plea, for which Heisenberg has no care for- BAM! blood-soaked camera lens. Now it’s just our two boys, face-to-face for the first time in nearly a year. Walt passes his gun to Jesse, wanting him to kill him. Here we have a visual flashback to Jesse’s hesitation of killing Gail at the end of season 3. Jesse wants Walt to tell him that he wants Jesse to kill him. Walt obliges. Jesse notices that Walt was hit by gunfire and decides that it’s time to stop being Walter White’s errand boy. “Then do it yourself.” By getting hit by his own gunfire, Walt essentially died saving Jesse.

Next we have confirmation that Walt indeed poisoned Lydia with the ricin, for those of you who just can’t stand unambiguous ambiguity. There are no more words between the former meth partners Walt and Jesse, just a head nod and a very Breaking Bad moment where it looks like Jesse most definitely could have ran Walt over with his car. Jesse breaks through the compound fence he scaled last episode and screams a laugh of elation.

Bleeding out, Walt goes to the Nazi lab to see how his pseudo-son Jesse was cooking without him, looking mighty proud. He lovingly touches a vat, alone with the one thing that made him feel truly alive: his “Baby Blue.” The once and future Heisenberg then falls to the floor and dies, staring towards the ceiling, probably past it, with a look of elation on his face. The cops roll in, rush past the dead King Walt, marking the end of Breaking Bad. And then you cried.

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico. 87104

Cormac Complaining: The Wife of Crime

Does your husband disappear at any given moment and offer little to no explanation upon his return? Do you suspect that your family’s income is the result of unspeakable criminal activities?  Fear not, ladies, for you are not alone.  If you are looking to take back your life from your monster of a husband or just want to piss him off in very small ways, look no further than these shining examples of feminism under pressure.  So let’s look at some tips from Boardwalk Empire, The Sopranos, Breaking Bad and The Godfather Part II to help you in your subtle rebellion.

***SOME SPOILERS AHEAD***

Tip #1: Steal from the Bastard

“And you’re sure your husband is okay with you giving all of his valuable land to the church?”

Whether your betrothed is a mafia boss, a crystal meth cook or a crooked city official, he’s got some cash saved up.  If he doesn’t, why are you still married to the jerk!?  Anyways he’s probably got a small federal reserve hidden under your mattress, beneath your crawlspace or in the garden supplies in the back yard.  So start digging and start spending – the more absurd the purchase the better!

Tip #2: CHEAT!

“And I liked it.”

Listen, your husband is more than likely breaking gratuitous amounts of laws while conducting his criminal business, you know this.  Do you really think that he draws the line at infidelity? REALLY?  So why don’t you meet yourself a nice gentleman who hopefully does not also kill people/sell drugs/has no soul and have a good time?  Just make sure that your hubby doesn’t find out or your new beau might end up going through the meat grinder at Satriale’s Pork Store…

Tip #3: Throw Him Out

“Eat luggage Tony!”

If you just can’t take his philandering any longer then it is time to show your lawfully wedded husband the door.  The trouble is not getting him out, but keeping him out.  Those criminal masterminds are a sneaky sort, and they tend to find loopholes around being kicked out of your home, mainly because they own the home.  Pesky laws!  If this is the case and you can’t seem to keep the mook out  then I suggest the following more drastic measure…

Tip #4: Do Something CRAZY!

“IT WAS AN ABORTION MICHAEL!

This is the thing that will really take the cake.  Freak him the f*#@ out.  Start smoking while you are pregnant, drink to excess or attempt to drown yourself in the pool out back.  And if all else fails, tell him your last miscarriage was actually an abortion – that one will hit him where he lives.  Depending on the severity on your craziness I would suggest that you have some bags packed and a place to stay.  Also you might lose custody of your children…just a head’s up.

Breaking Bad: “Live Free or Die” Recap

***SPOILERS FOR BREAKING BAD TO FOLLOW***

In the immortal words of Abed Nadir “And we’re back.”  Breaking Bad, my favorite drama on television has returned for the first half of its final season.  I’m not going to take time to recap my readers on what has come thus far in the show, because if you’re reading this recap and haven’t watched Breaking Bad yet, what the hell is wrong with you?  Go do it. NOW.  Season 4 of this awesome meth-making-machine of a television show followed the consequences of a single gunshot that rang out in the season 3 finale.  After that it was pretty much non-stop, heart-pounding action and tension until the finale.  In similar fashion, season 5 keeps on running without taking minute to breathe.  And it works.  Man oh man, does it work.

Our opening scene is most definitely a flash-forward; with Walt (who has a full head of hair and trendy new glasses) celebrating his 52^nd birthday alone in a Denny’s located somewhere in the U.S. that is 30 miles away from New Hampshire, (which is where Walt’s fake ID is from.)  He makes a cash drop for a set of car keys that he uses to open a trunk that reveals a machine gun and heavy ammo.  Future Walt seems to have some very big future problems.

After that, the episode picks up a minute after the season 4 finale left off; with Walt celebrating his victory over Gus Fring, Chicken King.  Walt may now be top dog, but infallible he is not.   The remainder of the episode involves Walt, Jesse and a reluctant Mike (remember Mike? Crazy strong old guy hitman?) trying to cover up their association with the deceased and now publicly known drug lord King Fring.  The Arizona PD has gotten a hold of Gus’ PC that has all video feed recordings from the meth lab (that Walt and Jesse blew to kingdom come.)  The fellas then proceed to embark on yet another go-for-broke scheme to avoid attention from the police.  We also find out that Ted Beneke survived his little fall at the hands of Saul Goodman’s strongmen, leaving him paralyzed.  Luckily all issues with Beneke are quickly resolved when he promises Skyler that he won’t talk to the cops about any dirty deeds.  This pleased me greatly, because I had about as much Beneke as I could handle.  He served his purpose; now let’s put him on his merry way.  (Also his name always makes me think of Eggs Benedict.)

Here is some speculation for the rest of the season/series.  After the boys enact their plan to magnetize the APD evidence room, the cops are cleaning up the mess and a find a framed picture of Gus and another man (maybe his meth partner/possible lover?) Behind the frame is what appears to be a routing number for a Swiss Bank account in the Cayman Islands.  Bet everything that that comes back to bite Walt in the ass.  My favorite part of the episode is that the magnetized plan to destroy the evidence was all Jesse’s.  I think that the end of Breaking Bad won’t be Walt vs the DEA; it will be Walt vs. Jesse.  We saw a glimpse of this last year, but Walt won Jesse back through lies and child endangerment.  Bottom line: Walt underestimates Jesse, and that will be the nail in his coffin.  Here’s to next week!

P.S. This whole episode was one big “Oh sh*t” moment for Skyler.  How she didn’t see this coming I have no clue, but she is realizing just how deep in it the Whites are.